There is a terrible plague racing across this land, my friends. A plague born upon the leafy wings of mustard greens soars overhead, dropping bombs full of bean curd and cabbage. The enemy wants nothing more than to make you feel guilty for eating the flesh of the inferior. They want to question the wisdom of eating things that contain such wonderful things like fat and salt. You alone, wearing your bacon t-shirt, can stand to this menace.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
Who really cares about cows, pigs, and chickens anyway? Would they be contributing to the world in any way except eating and pooping? All of the really cool animals in the world make their way by killing and eating the stupid, slow animals. It just so happens that humans are some of the coolest animals in the world, second only to the panther. If we, as a race, stopped eating animals then we would be kicked out of the Cool Animal Club in no time at all.
There are tons of ad campaigns out there that are using the hottest women you've ever seen as bait to stop eating meat. This is one of the worst things they do, in my humble opinion. They do their best to make portly gentlemen of the Midwest think that if they just stop digesting anything but plant matter, then these super-attractive women may let us see them naked in person. Trust me, these ladies would rather punch you in the groin than say three words to you.
We have to support our meat-eating rights just as ardently as they support vegetarianism. We have to advertise our passion for pork in any way we can, and it starts with a bacon t-shirt. If you're wearing your bacon pride on your chest like a badge, the vegetarians will cower away like a slug from the sunshine. The time for bacon activism has finally arrived.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
Who really cares about cows, pigs, and chickens anyway? Would they be contributing to the world in any way except eating and pooping? All of the really cool animals in the world make their way by killing and eating the stupid, slow animals. It just so happens that humans are some of the coolest animals in the world, second only to the panther. If we, as a race, stopped eating animals then we would be kicked out of the Cool Animal Club in no time at all.
There are tons of ad campaigns out there that are using the hottest women you've ever seen as bait to stop eating meat. This is one of the worst things they do, in my humble opinion. They do their best to make portly gentlemen of the Midwest think that if they just stop digesting anything but plant matter, then these super-attractive women may let us see them naked in person. Trust me, these ladies would rather punch you in the groin than say three words to you.
We have to support our meat-eating rights just as ardently as they support vegetarianism. We have to advertise our passion for pork in any way we can, and it starts with a bacon t-shirt. If you're wearing your bacon pride on your chest like a badge, the vegetarians will cower away like a slug from the sunshine. The time for bacon activism has finally arrived.
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