Wednesday, November 21, 2012

How In Hell Did This Happen Without My Knowing

By Leigh Bean


How in hell did this happen does not necessarily have to take the form of discrete words that are uttered. It can be an emotion that is experiences at particular points or moments throughout life. The emotion may be a mixture of surprise, dismay or even amusement.

Many parents keep their babies in bed with them during the first years of life. The baby snuggles blissfully in body heat with its head between its mother's breasts. Then, one shocking morning it wakes up to find that its parents, for reasons of their own, have moved it during the night to a cot. It is cold, and hard and wooden bars surround the baby like prison bars. This is when loud howls may take the form of discrete words.

Fifteen or sixteen years further along the path of life social acceptability is uppermost in a person's mind. A circle of friends or even membership of a gang may give a person a sense of security as she approaches independence. It may seem that this state of existence will go on for ever but it cannot. The inevitable moment arrives when the friends that seemed to be part of a secure world have suddenly dispersed. Favorite places have lost their appeal and friends have wandered away out of ken. There seem to be no explanation for the suddenness of events.

Sport and physical feats tend to be prominent in the lives of young people. They dream of being international sports stars, of winning Wimbledon or taking their place on a winner's podium. On their thirtieth birthday they may suddenly wake to the fact that they are past their physical peak and will never even represent their country at their chosen sport let alone as captain.

Another decade further down the path a person might have become involved in an absorbing career. Domestic chores and daily commuting might consume so much time that there is little left over for exercise. One morning a man might wish to see his toes and discover that he has to bend forward before they come into view. He walks worriedly to the window and sees that a flabby paunch has replaced his firm set of stomach muscles. This seems to him something that has happened suddenly, without warning.

Many people facing imminent retirement still think of themselves as being eighteen. To them it may seem impossible that attitudes towards them have changed. They cannot fit themselves into the category of senior citizens, or accept that television presenters refer to people of their age condescendingly as though they have little potential or future in society.

Perhaps a man will decide that it is time to indulge in fishing. He might have envied peaceful looking fishermen standing on beaches seemingly with time as endless as the ocean. An expensive rod, reel, line, sinkers, hooks and bait can be assembled. With everything at last ready the man balances his rod over his shoulder and swings, casting the hooks and sinkers far out in a wide arc, to fall with a sudden plop, as if unexpectedly checked. He glances down.

The mess of tangled fishing line at his waist might seem a like a metaphor for life. It needs to be unravelled. Order must be restored. But as the man begins the task of unravelling he might utter the words, how in hell did this happen.




About the Author:



No comments:

Post a Comment